By - admin

No Title – ( David Nguyen )

My eyes flutter open as I rise up from sleep,
in a brief moment all my thoughts come crashing in
a torrent of struggles, pain and yearning come from the deep
“It is hard to face today”, I say, 
“I must close my eyes and keep my fears at bay.”
For the weary, this is nothing new. It happens everyday.

Sorrow has been my close companion and refuses to leave my side,
Despair and Sadness have left messages for me–too many too count,
“How do others have the strength to wake up when I am terrified?
Who can I go for help? Where is my neighbor that I might ask?”
“Maybe …Jo..no it won’t help”, I recount. 
I realize no one can I finally grasp.

Discouraged, I open the dusty Book– the Book that my parents have told me to read.
Ever since I was young, it had been dry and boring.
“What’s the point?” I concede.
“God has never answered my prayers!” I end up roaring.
As I shove the book away it drops to the floor with the pages open.
Curiously, I glance at the book as if it had awoken.
It lays there quietly as if it was waiting beckoning me.
I pick it up and see Isaiah 41 greeting me.

I read,

[9] you whom I took from the ends of the earth,
and called from its farthest corners,
saying to you, “You are my servant,
I have chosen you and not cast you off”;
[10] fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:9-10 (ESV)

I gasp as I hear the words echo in my mind. 
Can it be? The Lord has spoken to me?
A shiver runs downs my spine as I touch the page.
No, it cannot be. God does not speak any more I will later find.
He does not care about me– I am locked in this cage.
I am alone and will be in this state forever.
Yet I hear the Words again, however
It rings softly clear and louder still
“I have chosen you and not cast you off”
Can it really be God?” I cough

Conflicted I get out of my bed
The Book sits there patient and still,
As if it were smiling and waiting for me, I dread
Drawn to the Book I decide to lay on my knee
Maybe it will work..maybe I believe

I pray for some reason not knowing why
“God, I don’t know if you are there but hear my cry”
“I am in pain and dying.. my heart has bled dry”
“Can you heal me? Return to me joy?”
“You should know — it’s all because of that ..boy”
“I am heart broken and lost”
“Please mend my heart o God! As you promised!”

I get up not knowing if anything happened
But then I feel a tug in my heart as I recall a Sunday school story,
about a man named Jesus who died on the cross at Calvary 
He was in anguish and in horrible pain,
as I picture Him with his nails covered with blood stains.
This man died for my sins so I can be free
The pain He went through to save me,
My heart faints as I think over the pain this man went through,
Why would He ever love a sinner like me?

“Jesus, you are my Lord and Savior,” I confess,
“If you had to experience a million heart breaks just to save me, then this heartbreak is nothing”.
“I want to believe in your words please help me” I profess.

I lay on my bed as I think over what happened.
The Words ring in my ears again as I try to understand,
“I will strengthen you, I will help you,
“I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”.
I struggle to believe if it is too good to be true.

Sorrow bangs on the door like an animal I cannot contain
I wonder if I should give up on life to take away the pain
I look out my window and can’t help and wonder,
From all pain did Jesus ever want to surrender?
“No”, I dismiss. “Love compelled Him to live like no other.”
Triumphantly, I recite Isaiah 41 one more time
“I can’t be weak I must be strong.” I say,
Because Jesus died so I can live today

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